Tuesday, 28 February 2012

24th's ♥

This post is just something for my baby boy, Jovin ♥
So, today, I met him to search for a job and after that we went to Shaw to watch "This means war"
Damn funny! Must watch. Is really laugh die me. 

Anyway, while hugging his arm and laying my head on his shoulder. (He smells so good! I swear!)
I suddenly realised something..
I really do love him and I don't want to ever lose him to anyone.
And thinking back to how we met really made me laugh at the absurdity of how fate brought us together.

I met him through Tagged, this social-dating networking website. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for anyone to date since I was with Mr. k then. I was just looking for a trustworthy friend. 
So, there was one day after a really great big quarrel with Mr. K, I was feeling depressed, moody and started flooding twitter and Tagged with all the emo statuses that I could manage. 

Jovin liked them all.

Finding it puzzling for a guy to like all my statuses, I stalk his Tagged profile and PM him on Tagged. We had a talk and he seem like the kind of friend I was looking for. He was kind, caring and didn't get annoyed-pissed at my whining about all the relationship problems I was facing. He didn't probe when I didn't feel like saying it. We exchanged number and talk through SMS. I got to know him more and he was like a brother to me. I felt like I could confide in him and I felt that he would actually listen to all my whining and not get crazy distracted like all my other friends do. In a way, he was like a brother and a best friend all wrap in one! We texted everyday and he would always send the sweetest goodnight messages to me. Putting in effort into each text. 

We even skype with each other and he would do anything just to put a smile on my face. He would wear all these cute penguin outfits and just show them to me. I would laugh and smile. After talking so long with him, I realised we have many things in common and we became Twinnies!`♥

A few days later, something major happened. Lets just say that Mr. K cheated on me and I found out. We broke it off because I couldn't trust him to not hurt me anymore. And I was crazy. I was depressed. And I did something to hurt myself. Maybe I was attention-seeking but I just needed someone to care. Someone to listen to me. So I skype Jovin and just tried not to break down as he cheered me up. That night, we talk all the way till 3am. That started a whole load of skype-ing. 

I just couldn't stop myself smiling and laughing whenever I was with him. So we decided to meet up for Starbucks. He was such a gentleman and he admitted that he had started to have feelings for me. At that time, I thought he was playing with my feelings because I couldn't believe that feelings could develop so fast. But something happen, we had a misunderstanding and decided to take time off. I couldn't stop looking at my phone everyday, hoping he would text. It didn't make it easier to know that he was all out to ignore me. It made me upset and we drifted apart. It was only after awhile when we started talking to each other again but the feeling like as if we known each other for ages, hasn't been lost. 

We started spending more time together and I felt myself fall helplessly for him because he was always there for me when I needed him. Because he can make me happy like no one else could. He understood me in a way that is startling that sometimes, he can predict what I was gonna say next or we would complete each other sentences. After a harsh and a clear break with Mr. K, I spent many days studying with Jovin and got to know him better with each outing with him

Yep, that's us ♥
We officially gotten together on the Zoo trip together. He was sweet. Asking me to be his girl and I will never forget his smile that day. I wish I would be the reason for that smile on his face forever. I wish I could be able to see him smile like that each and every day.

Today, we met up. 
I realised that he became a part of my life. Many of Mr. K's friend scolded and criticised me, told me that I didn't really love Jovin and that he was just a replacement for Mr. K. But the feeling when I'm with Jovin is totally different from that of being with Mr. K or any of my ex to be exact. When I'm with Jovin, I'm happy. Really, truly happy. His silly smile. Silly jokes. 
Everything he does, keep that smile on my face.
He is the very first guy who could say such sweet things to me and I would truly believe him. 
And, I'm afraid to lose him. 
I'm afraid he would hurt me just like how Mr. K did. 
I'm afraid I would be broken.

But, I decided to give him my all. The best shot I could ever have. 
It isn't fair to deprive anyone else the love and trust you can give in a relationship just because of a failed past relationship.

I would give him my all, just to see him happy. 
I would risk getting hurt just to make sure that smile will always be on his face. 
And if there comes a day, when that smile isn't meant for me, I would still be happy as long as he is.

Boy, iloveyou so ♥
This boy is mine.

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