Monday, 30 July 2012

#157; Love and lies

Love is the best feeling in the world, mainly because of the happiness you can derive from it. Although there may be times of misunderstanding and there may be times when you get hurt in a relationship, one shouldn't be so fast to judge that "love hurts". True love doesn't hurt. I now know this, having been in so many failed relationships. I am blogging about this topic today because I thought it was apt, considering my current predicament. Don't worry people, I am still happily attached/engaged to Chubby Cheeks. I thought I should share about my ex.

To that one horrible guy who screwed up:

Learn to take and learn to give. Learn to possess and learn to give up. What is yours, will rightfully be yours. Forcing love, is like forcing laughter even when you're upset. It is wrong on so many levels. But what is worse, is the people who make use of the notion of love to deceive. You make someone believe that you truly love them, just to make use of them and break them down. If you don't love someone, don't keep her by your side forever. Take what you want then leave. Stop pulling her back when she wants to leave, stop making her guilty and stop your one last little lie that you need her back by your side.

The most selfish and childish person are people who do not give back, they just take. If you possess love, you should reciprocate it. Instead, you just keep it to yourself. Being the selfish bastard you are, you go so far as to say that everyone is selfish and that they only care about themselves. What a joke, considering that you are the one who is so selfish as to always take but never give back. There wasn't once when you were sincere in a relationship. You were just making use of love to get you what you wanted, and I was a fool to believe. 

A true relationship, never have quarrels that last, never have tears that stains the pillow. 
The kind of love you give, if it is love at all, is a harsh and brutal kind. The kind that I need to beg for and I truly regret degrading myself to that level. Having to beg for your forgiveness after every quarrel that happened even though you were wrong. Having to cry and be humiliated in public, having being abused by you, both mentally and physically. It was wrong of myself to continue staying with you as long as I did. With you, I cannot have any guy friends. I cannot be close to them. I remember once, when I was just texting a friend of mine, you gotten angry at me. Left me alone at AMK hub and think that I would follow behind like a dog. I didn't and wanted to go home. What did you do? You grip my hands pulled me so hard, I had bruises all over my arm. Every night I cried myself to sleep, thinking "why do I stoop so low just to keep a guy like you?". 

True love is honest and pure. There shouldn't be lies in a relationship and there should only be two people in it. You, ignorant and flirtatious. Capricious and promiscuous, had tons of girls while you were with me. The proof was right in front of my eyes and I blatantly chose to ignore it, believing that you were true to me. You had an affair with this girl and when I found out about it, you chose to blame me. Playing your dirty little mind games, making me think it was my fault just because I can't take time to meet you. A relationship is two ways. You give and you take. But you just take. You scolded me, you blamed me and quietly I took it all. And then I forgave you but you cheated again. This time, no more, I won't let myself go so low just for you. 
She can have you. If you believe he has changed, you're wrong. It took me two and a half years to make him the way he is. And two and a half years of giving and tolerating his bullshit, is more than enough. How long have you known him? Three- six months top. And you love him like no tomorrow? Even when he scolds you and push all his problems to you? Remember this: "If he leaves his girl for you, he will leave you for another girl" (:

The reason why I am blogging about my ex boyfriend, Melvin Ng Kai Wen (Kai Boon) is because he owes me a sum of money $300. If it was small amounts like $50, I would forget about it. Think of it as donating money to a charity case like him. But it isn't. He refused to pay me back and claims that he does not owe me anything. Here I will clarify. Him, Mr. Ng Kai Wen, use my money throughout the duration of our relationship. His lunch and dinner and transportation fees were all paid by me. His monthly contact lenses were also paid by yours truly. He, Mr. Melvin Ng Kai Boon of age 20, rarely treats me to movie. The only time he treats me to movie and lunch, he complained and make a big fuss saying this phrase "Great! Now I have no money left. Yay." This phrase as fore mentioned, made me guilty and I repayed him back and gave him extra on top of that. $10 movie tickets he also buey gamwan give. Cheapo? He spent my money on cigarettes and stupid stuff that he never uses. I had to pay close to $200 for a couple ring that him and me agreed to split costs for. I think all in all, he owes me close to $500 +. But being the nice little girl I am, I gave him a discount (better than the great Singapore sales). I told him to return me $300. But the poor little bastard decided to run from me, I am now an ah long (but a very kind one cause I gave him a huge ass discount of $200+). He has sent his representative to talk to me instead. His girlfriend. Now this poor little bastard has yet to repay me back a cent but before we broke up and ended things he said this to me (word for word, I ss down the convo) "If you break up with me, I will return everything you have ever given me, your money, the monthsary/birthday presents" OKAY CAN. Where is it then? 

Alright, understandably so, the gifts are yours to keep considering that they are "gifts" but the money? I LEND IT TO YOU. Lend leh dhey! Not give. Mr. Ng Kai Boon, is now struggling with financial difficulties because he owes a lot of money to his "friends" too. What he does with the money? Buy stuff on gaming platforms, mainly garena "League of Legends". So, what he does with the gifts isn't any business of mine, but if you must know, he gave them to his current girlfriend as incentives to clean his house? LOL. Making a list "Rilakkuma iPhone casing (white), mickey mouse plush keychain (I thought the rat look like him, uncanny resemblance), a box of heart shapes, a small cute bear pouch". Ahh well, I digress.

I shall leave you guys to judge him (: 
P.S: He stays around the area of AMK/Serangoon. People who stay there, beware of him.

A guy who makes his girl pay, has no balls. A guy who refuses to admit he is wrong, isn't even considered a man at all. I shall not pull down this post, because I am right. And I have evidences, even people who support that the above as fore mentioned is correct. 

On a random side note, I think I look so fucking cute in that photo, but he ruins the whole photo :/


  1. Omg, f***ing bastard!
    You're right to leave him.
    Eventhough I have no rights to judge, but according to what you say, I truly believe he's a scumbag good for nothing.
    Cheers Amanda, and last long with your current boyf! ♥

    1. Yes, I agree with you! ^^ and thank you! Me and chubby cheeks will last long! ^^ <3


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